It’s good to know who most matters to you in the world, and to let this determine your ethics and your actions. It’s possible to let your energy, love and time be wasted by those who are not clear what they want for you or those who are trapped in their own games. Such lost investment will only distract you from giving all to what you can most achieve in your path, your heart and your life’s work. Focus on those who most matter and know well why they do.
You’ll know those who want to matter because they will want to be tried and true, they will make you feel safe with them and they will inspire you to be your best self. These are the people who help you to survive and to grow, to push limiting boundaries and to know when you should say no. Those who want to matter will not leave you wondering if you are loved. Keep them close to you during the challenges ahead and let others go. There is too much to accomplish to move forward with vulnerabilities that undermine your peace of mind.
What exactly is to be achieved?
There is the heart list consisting of releasing attachments with generosity of spirit, receiving acceptance with grace and deepening a daily practice of gratitude.
There is a life list consisting of finding that right combination of relentlessly pursing dreams regardless of the sacrifice, contributing to changes the world desperately needs, and finding commitment and meaning beyond public life, in family, friendship, healthy living, forests and quiet time.
There is the fantasy list consisting of fine-tuning those super powers that should be yours. I don’t mean powers to be invisible or speak to animals or move through time or fly – though your alter ego should have at least some of these. I mean the list of those powers that would make you awesome to yourself, such as greater capacities for patience and focus, quicker recovery when you need to get back up and dust off, trust that struggle to be better at something will bring returns, greater humility, honesty and far, far more kindness in word and deed. These may not sound like superpowers, but that’s only because you are not rocking them with a cape.
Finally, there is the balance list. I asked someone if all was well the other day and they said ‘no, things are not well’. They didn’t mean with themselves, they meant with Trinidad and Tobago and they were right. Once we have health, money to live and our family nearby, all is well, but the ‘all’ we are a part of is wider than that. Balance means knowing when we have nothing to complain about and knowing when complacency will cost a future generation. Some of us are out there volunteering with children or washing oil of our coastline’s wildlife or teaching adult men how to read. The rest of us should be out there too. There’s balance to be found. All is not well with one of us when it is not well with all.
It’s powerful to know what most matters and to trust that mistakes are part of finding out, so good intention and forgiveness are necessary ingredients in the mix. Given how little is under our entire control, all that’s left after all this is a fearless openness to chance encounters and unlikely opportunities.
Finally, when you lose your lists, fail or focus on what doesn’t matter, always remember that each day in the new year also brings a second chance.